I’m Mike.

The job takes me to some of the most God-forsaken places on the planet. What keeps me sane is a simple countdown: I am always X days from the next cruise. It sounds corny. It works.

Royal Caribbean uses dynamic pricing because they are a business, not a charity. I own the stock, so I applaud it. What I don’t applaud is finding out after you’ve booked whether Starlink is $17.99 or $25.99, or whether the Deluxe Beverage Package is $59.99 or $120. This site simply gathers the publicly posted numbers—drink packages, internet, laundry, the rest—and puts them in one place so you can decide with your eyes open. That’s all it does.

We’re a middle-class family. William is 10, Max is 8. Royal has been a gift. After friends died far too young I adopted a rule we call FIBI: Fuck it, book it. You can’t take the money with you. The memories stay. Before either boy hit his first teenage zit they had already climbed 2,000-year-old Mayan pyramids, run the length of Bermuda, seen Canada more than once, and done Alaska. That’s the point.

Nothing here is commercial. Every price is information you could find yourself by clicking through Royal’s own site; I just do it faster and in one spot. If the work is useful and you want to buy a Warrant Officer a coffee, I’ll spend it on the Royal Promenade at 0600. My wife won’t be up until 0830. I greet the sunrise every single morning, no matter how many Macallan 12s the night before. True story. Happens every time.

Book the cruise. See you on the Promenade.